Sharing her journey

By Ginny Privitar
WEST MILFORD — Michelle Fenwick thought she was doing everything right.
She was a runner in 5K and half-marathon races.
She made a conscious effort to be healthy and eat right.
Except, she says, for one thing.
“What I was missing was keeping doctor appointments," said Fenwick. "And I skipped mammograms for 12 years. I was thinking I was doing the right things but I wasn’t taking care of myself.”
As her 50th birthday approached earlier this year, she promised herself to get all her medical checkups. Getting a mammogram was first on her list. She didn’t get far after that.
The cancer was found in the mammogram; she had no symptoms.

'I was devastated'

Cancer can be difficult to detect in women with dense breast tissue. Fenwick’s first mammogram was followed by a zoom mammogram with greater detail, and a biopsy. The news came back and it was a shock, both good and bad - she had cancer; it was noninvasive.
Fenwick recounted her mixed emotions.
“I was devastated because, you know, it’s the best of the worst. But you also don’t know what the final diagnosis will be. But I know I’m really lucky, because I waited 12 years.”
Ironically, she was already involved in the fight against cancer. She supports the cancer walk, the snowshoe event for the Susan B. Komen Foundation and other fundraisers. Fenwick also donated platelets monthly for people in cancer treatment.
Things moved quickly and Fenwick had her same-day surgery at Chilton Hospital two weeks later, in July.
Fenwick is director of Special Education for Pompton Lakes, was a teacher in West Milford for almost 10 years, and a former member of the West Milford Board of Education who served as president. She had scheduled her surgery, a lumpectomy, so it would not interfere with the school year.
After the surgery, there was one more mammogram to confirm they had gotten all the cancer. Fenwick had already scheduled her first appointment for radiation treatment.
“I got the call — ‘We need another surgery,’” Fenwick said.

Video courtesy of Today
Learning she would need another surgery in September was a shock, and difficult. She said her job as a school administrator is to make sure people with disabilities are getting the services they need. Her passion has always been kids with disabilities and the thought of being absent added to her anxiety.
But, she said, “Everyone in my world has stepped up to help me and keep everything going.” She sees herself as very lucky.
Now it was September and she would have to be out of school. The second surgery was a partial mastectomy. She is now taking tamoxifen and will need to be carefully monitored for the next five years. She is undergoing radiation, but will not need chemotherapy.
She is grateful for her support at home.
“My husband, David, has been wonderful through all this,” Fenwick said. Her daughters Lauren, 17, and Lindsay, 22, have been a big help. Fenwick said it was easier to tell them than to tell her mother, who had family members affected by cancer.

Today's journey

Before she knew she would need another surgery, her husband was on the “Today Show” Facebook page one day and saw an ad asking for nominations of women going through a breast cancer journey to have a special spa day on the show. He nominated Michelle and she was selected.
Of course she received the news that she would need the second surgery after that. She underwent that surgery at the end of September, just days before the Today Show taping.
Getting selected for the “Today Show” segment on breast cancer was a surprise in many ways.
“I had no idea I would meet other wonderful women going through harder stories and different stories," said Fenwick. "There were women who had bi-lateral mastectomies, or chemo, and one who just started the process.”
In all, there were five women chosen to be honored and pampered with a spa day on the segment that aired on Oct. 4.
Fenwick was picked up in a limo, met Matt Lauer, Al Roker, Kathy Lee Gifford, and spent much of the day with Hoda Kotb, herself a breast cancer survivor.
“It was a day that just kept unfolding with more wonderful surprises,” Fenwick said.

Understanding like a best friend

As fun-filled as the day was, with massages and manicures on a Manhattan rooftop courtesy of Bliss 49 Spa at the W Hotel in Manhattan, it was the people she met who made the greatest impression on Fenwick, including Kotb and the other cancer survivors.
A beautiful selection of food was available and, at the start of the day, Fenwick prepared a plate, but in all the excitement, she didn’t touch it. But Kotb noticed.
“She (Hoda) is as nice in person as she is on TV,” Fenwick said. “An hour after she left, one of the producers of the show came up to me with a new plate of food. She said, ‘Hoda wanted to make sure that you ate. She noticed you hadn’t eaten before and just called back and wanted to be sure.’”
Fenwick was moved that she would even notice. “Like your best friend does that. Not everyone would notice.
“I was just taken so by her humanity," she continued. "She’s had a mastectomy; she really understood the day I was having (problems with stamina) and that I needed that kindness. It gave me tears of joy. It was a kind, thoughtful gesture.”
Kotb gave each of the women a pink ring with the word “forward” on it.
“My fingers were swollen. She took the ring off her finger, saying ‘I’ve been wearing mine a long time and it’s stretched out; take mine.’ She treated all five of us with such kindness.”

Sisterhood

“The women I met are forever sisters to me; strong survivors with positive energies," Fenwick said. "A year from now they’re going to come and stay with me.”
The women are planning on hiring a car and going into the city for some fun. They’ll be stopping by outside the “Today Show” and holding up signs of thanks for their day of pampering.
“I’m expecting all of us to be stronger and better and (have) better things in our lives,” Fenwick said.

‘I’m hopeful’

Fenwick had her post-surgery appointment on Oct. 7, and the doctor said things looked good.
“Sure, they’re going to want another picture,” Fenwick said, “but I’m hopeful.”
Fenwick is back to work and hoping to be cleared for running in another two weeks. She’s missed it sorely, but is happy to get outside and walk in the meantime.

Sharing their stories

Breast cancer survivors are glad to share information with others on social media and in person. Those with reconstructive surgery are often happy to display the results.
“More people have flashed me than I ever thought possible,” Fenwick said, laughing.
But breast cancer is also a serious subject and, by sharing her story, Fenwick hopes to inspire all women to talk to their doctor and get screened. Even if you’re living a healthy lifestyle, you can still get cancer, but caught early, the prognosis is excellent. If you do get that diagnosis, talk to others with cancer.
“If people weren’t talking about it, I would be so scared," Fenwick said. "It helps to talk it out.”
For more information and support groups, call the American Cancer Society at 800-227-2345 or go to www.cancer.org.
A clip from the spa day can be found at www.today.com.